Writing the novel Vivian Rising required a great deal of research and personal introspection about astrology. I’ve gone on the record saying I’ve got a love-hate relationship with astrology. Too true. I’m equally skeptical and seduced by astrology’s spot-on insights. I’m not even going to say anything about what I think of Capricorns. But, oy. I used to read my horoscope in The New York Post every day. During trying times in my life, I found myself hungering for the beginning of a new month so I could hang onto some promising things to come. Looking back, I guess it could have been anything I looked at this way. I just wanted to feel better, and sometimes you go through periods where you do all the right things—keep your chin up, hit the gym, busy yourself with friends and work, wake up and say “good morning world,” fake it till you make it—and still everything comes up crap. I don’t know why life tests us this way. Astrology addresses these difficult phases, too, breaks them down to something that seems like a natural, slightly more digestible, part of life, and maybe there’s something therapeutic in thinking about it in this way.
Sometimes I felt it was ridiculous, but at the same time, I felt compelled to dig down and think about things you tend to shove down in the day-to-day, and astrology readings give you a guide to do just this. During my research, I found there are some aspects of astrology that have been scientifically proven: specific shared traits of people born under certain celestial conditions. I tend to believe this finding based on thousands of birth records and decades of tabulation. Still, I’d been in an off-again phase with astrology for quite some time now—ever since a phase when some negative readings (which turned out to be accurate) were, I felt, only exacerbating the negativity…ie, I try to “good morning world” it and then I wake up to another crappy prediction, and voila, the day, the week, the month is crappy.
A couple of horoscope-less years goes by. Still, I knew the time would come. Especially now Vivian Rising is out and people keep chatting me up about astrology. My curiosity is back. I have to scratch the itch: recently, I’ve begun to get curious about my current chart. I’ve started looking. And so, in the interest of all who are as intrigued by such things as I am, I’m going to comb through the relevance and validity of my horoscope every day for thirty days and see how we go. Sure, I’m going to verge on the shaky ground of TMI; I’ll probably look back and say, why did I tell the whole world that? But truth be told, I’m too excited about this project to let any of that deter me. Each day, I’ll add the link to Jonathan Cainer’s site, which I’m using for my readings, so you can check your own and tell us how your predictions stand up. So here goes:
Day 1:
October 11
Feb 20 – Mar 20
Pisces
You are altering your outlook, adjusting your attitude, re-evaluating your position and changing your mind! No wonder you feel tired. You are expending a lot of mental and emotional energy. If a certain situation seems to be sapping your strength, be glad. Once you have exhausted all your energy, you’ll have to pull down a mental or emotional shutter. This will actually protect you and allow you to renew your energy and enthusiasm for life. And then you may finally see how to solve an old problem properly. (http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/horoscopes)
I was pretty shocked when I saw this reading. Just last Friday, I made a decision about my career, and then shared it with my husband. I’ll have to let down the shade of professionalism between novelist and reader for this one, but I think it’s good you know: there are two separate careers I have: the first one I love: I’m a novelist. To do this, I write novels. I wake up early, with a hunger to get to my wonderful little café and write my heart out. I pull out all the books and music and articles that have inspired me over the last day or weekend, and have these heart-rending moments of intense creativity, such satisfying work—after eleven years, I can finally write what I actually mean to say! Sometimes, I write scenes so powerfully they make me cry! It’s as if I’m sitting at this little table, my books stacked everywhere, and magic is going on in this place and nobody knows it but me. They’re drinking their cappuccinos and flat whites, and I’m creating this! In this career, I know—I can see the proof from the improvements between my first book and my current work—that I have come a long, long way. I have reached a place in my career where I can be proud of the work I do. And even better, there is so much to learn still that I will spend my whole life learning, and intensely enjoying doing so…even, if you’ll forgive the drama, living a more fulfilling life in the process.
But I have another career: and that one is as a professional novelist. And heart-breakingly there isn’t often something satisfying about this. This is thankless work of publicity and marketing and publishing deals that seem to spin around and around endlessly, without a drop-off point. And the thing about it is, of course I love books, and love writing books, and I’ll never stop doing this part of it, because I understand it’s a necessary evil. But. And this is a big but. I need to look at it differently. My goal, my job, will no longer be to get “there”—ah, that elusive there!—because with that point of view, I’m a failure every single day. I end my work day thinking, God I worked so hard! I came up with such great ideas! I persisted and made it all come together! But what for? Nothing has happened. My sales numbers haven’t increased, my publisher hasn’t decided overnight to give me an Eat, Pray, Love-sized budget and sales pitch! Every few months I burn out on the whole thing and wonder if I should just write and stop trying to “make it.” But this never lasts long. I’m not that kind of person (if only I were!), and besides, I know this is a numbers game. If I stick at it, I’ve got a better chance. Hey, Oprah’s not going to know about me if I don’t contact her, right? So. The change. From now on, I see my job as something different: my professional novelist job is to work as hard as I can pitching story ideas and publicity coups, phoning shops and potential partners in crime. And If I do as much as I possibly can do, to the best of my ability each day, well now I’m going to consider that a success. I don’t believe this is going to happen overnight (I’ve already felt some negativity creeping in this morning), but it is going to happen. Because the thing is: I have a wonderful life. I’m in love; I’m married to the person I’m in love with. Soon I’ll be a mom. I get to write novels—my lifelong dream—for a living. People read them (I wish more would, but I’m going to stop thinking like that, right?). I have a wonderful home in a wonderful country and a family that loves me more than one person could ever hope for. How can I possibly spend another day thinking this life is a failure? I can’t. And I won’t.
VERDICT: Prediction and advice—spot on.
QUESTIONS: What’s your horoscope say today? Is it accurate? Do you believe it? Has reading this prediction affected your day?
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